Yesterday was my blog's one year birthday and I had a lovely time celebrating the big event, but well- I forgot to take photos of everything I did. Let me tell you however that the back of my thighs still ache from all the weeding I did in the morning, so memories of the day are still vivid in my mind.
Now today is an even BIGGER day and again we will celebrate a most awesome event- our wonderful marriage which took place 27 years ago on this day. We've had so many incredible years together with so very little strife. Neither Peter nor I enjoy conflict and so our marriage has been one of peace. We vowed at the altar to love, honour, and respect each other and those vows were taken seriously. Both of us agree that the most important vow was that of respect. There may be times in a relationship when you don't feel too loving but respect is something you must always show your partner. Once a lack of respect is felt it is incredibly difficult to get it back. We also vowed to always remember that once you've said something hurtful it can never be taken back and it will continue to cause pain forever. So we're careful what we say to each other- we think before we say words that hurt. It doesn't mean that we're not honest, it means we take the harmful emotions out of our words and respectfully let the other person know what we're feeling. So that's my marriage advice!
27 years ago on our wedding day
Peter and I met while we were working at an inner city mission in Toronto. We came from quite different family backgrounds- I was brought up Catholic and he was Dutch Reformed. Sort of like religious oil and water- never the two will mix. But both of us had gone through our own forms of spiritual awakening and ended up in two different Baptist seminaries where we had to do some sort of practical work. So there we were, in the middle of the city trying our best to lift the spirits of some very downtrodden and sad people. I watched him as he showed his (and God's) love to drunken men and strungout teens. I watched him as he and one of my girlfriends 'dated' a little, but not for very long. But I never spoke to him. One day I thought up a plan. His school had an older (and I thought better) library than mine, so I asked him if I could use it to research a paper I was writing. Of course that was just a sneaky ploy. So one Saturday morning I appeared on his doorstep with pen and paper in hand ready to research. Now the library was located in the spookiest part of the church/seminary- way, way up in the very top of the attic, which felt to me a little too much like the setting for Phantom of the Opera. Peter led me up the stairs and sat me at a table and showed me where the books were that I might need. AND THEN HE LEFT! Unbelievable! I sat there stewing in my sorrow. I sat there all day. (I now like to think he actually locked me in the tower but I'm not sure if that's really true). It was a long cold day but he finally returned and released me from my torture. I went home fuming about this man who was oblivious to my charms. It took several months but eventually another opportunity came up- I was working the 'late shift' at the mission and as it was the policy of the organisation that women were not to go home alone after midnight, Peter 'volunteered' to accompany me on the subway and bus, right to my door. After that we were inseparable. By the end of the week I asked him to marry me. Luckily for me he accepted or my life would never have been as filled with love and joy. Seven weeks later we were wed! I have been so truly blessed. Peter is a man unlike anyone I have ever met. Tolerant, thoughtful, soulful, loving, and filled with kindness. I have never heard him utter a mean or hurtful word to anyone. I sometimes wonder what I have done to deserve such a partner.
So today, we'll take time to think back on our shared memories, to wonder about our future together, and to cherish this very special day.
Peter darling, I love you. Let's have 27 more.