Subject: Dear Mr. President: Send Even MORE Troops (and you go, too!) ...from Michael Moore
Dear Mr. President,
Thanks for your address to the nation. It's good to know you still want to talk to us after how we behaved in November.
Listen, can I be frank? Sending in 20,000 more troops just ain't gonna do the job. That will only bring the troop level back up to what it was last year. And we were losing the war last year! We've already had over a million troops serve some time in Iraq since 2003. Another few thousand is simply not enough to find those weapons of mass destruction! Er, I mean... bringing those responsible for 9/11 to justice! Um, scratch that. Try this -- BRING DEMOCRACY TO THE MIDDLE EAST! YES!!!
You've got to show some courage, dude! You've got to win this one! C'mon, you got Saddam! You hung 'im high! I loved watching the video of that -- just like the old wild west! The bad guy wore black! The hangmen were as crazy as the hangee! Lynch mobs rule!!!
Look, I have to admit I feel very sorry for the predicament you're in. As Ricky Bobby said, "If you're not first, you're last." And you being humiliated in front of the whole world does NONE of us Americans any good.
Sir, listen to me. You have to send in MILLIONS of troops to Iraq, not thousands! The only way to lick this thing now is to flood Iraq with millions of us! I know that you're out of combat-ready soldiers -- so you have to look elsewhere! The only way you are going to beat a nation of 27 million -- Iraq -- is to send in at least 28 million!
Here's how it would work:
The first 27 million Americans go in and kill one Iraqi each. That will quickly take care of any insurgency. The other one million of us will stay and rebuild the country. Simple.
The first 27 million Americans go in and kill one Iraqi each. That will quickly take care of any insurgency. The other one million of us will stay and rebuild the country. Simple.
Now, I know you're saying, where will I find 28 million Americans to go to Iraq?
Here are some suggestions:
1. More than 62,000,000 Americans voted for you in the last election (the one that took place a year and half into a war we already knew we were losing). I am confident that at least a third of them would want to put their body where there vote was and sign up to volunteer. I know many of these people and, while we may disagree politically, I know that they don't believe someone else should have to go and fight their fight for them -- while they hide here in America.
2. Start a "Kill an Iraqi" Meet-Up group in cities across the country. I know this idea is so early-21st century, but I once went to a Lou Dobbs Meet-Up and, I swear, some of the best ideas happen after the third mojito. I'm sure you'll get another five million or so enlistees from this effort.
3. Send over all members of the mainstream media. After all, they were your collaborators in bringing us this war -- and many of them are already trained from having been "embedded!" If that doesn't bring the total to 28 million, then draft all viewers of the FOX News channel.
Mr. Bush, do not give up! Now is not the time to pull your punch! Don't be a weenie by sending in a few over-tired troops. Get your people behind you and YOU lead them in like a true commander in chief! Leave no conservative behind! Full speed ahead!
We promise to write. Go get 'em W!
Yours,
Michael Moore
(Thanks to Yakima Gulag for sharing this information!)
6 comments:
*sigh*
What a stinking mess.
Finally someone has said what many of us have been thinking - if you think this war was such a bright idea, YOU go fight it.
Honestly, is there any member of the Bush family - that pile of neices and nephews he's got - who's ever served in Iraq?
Long live Michael Moore! I'm glad you printed this because I hadn't seen it yet.
Hi Ho, Thought you might enjoy this article from the CBC. http://www.cbc.ca/news/viewpoint/vp_kinsman/20070113.html
Here's a short bite from it.
"...but despite a warning by Republican loyalist Newt Gingrich — "This can't be Bush's war. It has to be the country's — the president has indicated that he will stand by his guns even if his wife Laura and his dog are all the support he has left....
Bush has less time and a lot less slack than he thinks. He may well be left with the dog.
Not to mention recent wikipedia controversy involving Bosniaks and Serbs.
It is interesting how Serbs promoted invented word "Serpophobia" on the internet.
First they introduced the word to wikipedia, and then thousands of other scrapper sites copied content from wikipedia, and now Google yields thousands of matches for this invented word.
Of course, while Bosniaks wanted to do the same, and create an article Bosniakophobia (local: Bosnjakofobija), Serbs quickly jumped and voted "NO!". And of course, attempts to create Bosniakophobia article failed thanks to Serbian activism on wikipedia!
They don't use wikipedia for educational, but for their nationalistic/politic/propaganda purposes. It is sickening to see Serbian propaganda poisoning Wikipedia's objectivity in ex-YU articles.
What Bosniaks need to do is focus more on wikipedia's Srebrenica Massacre article which is under attack by pro-Serbian vandals and revisionists/deniers on a daily basis. Bosniaks also need to stick together and create Bosniakophobia article @ Wiki.
Definition of Bosniakophobia (Bosnjakofobija)
Bosniakophobia is a sentiment of hostility or hatred towards Bosniaks and the concept of multi-cultural and united Bosnia-Herzegovina in its present borders. Its use in the English language has been limited. Bosniakophobia is widespread in Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia-Herzegovina, and Croatia.
One of the most notable manifestation of Bosniakophobia is the denial of 1995 Srebrenica Genocide in which Serb forces slaughtered over 8,000 Bosniaks in U.N. designated "safe" enclave of Srebrenica.
Go Michael Moore...thanks for posting this!
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